A Most Interesting Weekend at Jane's
by thisisnotreal123
Summary: What happens when Lisbon and Jane have to look after two kids for a weekend? Read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Inspired by the scene with Jane and the baby in "The Thin Red Line" and ch19777's "One in a Million" - sorry for the stealage. **

**I'm sorry if you think this is terrible, it is a temporary escape from revision and my 1****st**** Mentalist fanfic.**

It had all started out as a normal day for Lisbon - or at least what constituted a normal day with Patrick Jane on her team. By 8 o'clock he had 'read' the teams' minds twice, making everyone bar her a lot happier. She just got more and more annoyed each time because he always seemed to imply that he knew she liked him as more than a friend. So what if she did? It was unprofessional and she knew better than to act purely on her feelings. At least, she did at that moment in time.

Shortly after Jane had 'read' Van Pelt's mind for the second time, the team got finally got a case. A couple had been shot, and as the husband was a police officer, the CBI were involved.

As soon as they arrived on the scene, Jane had accurately guessed that the man had had an obsessive stalker who was responsible for the killings (the woman had been killed with a lot more violence whereas her partner had been killed more compassionately, as if the killer didn't want to kill him or make him feel any pain). Jane even correctly predicted that the stalker was his PA (because she'd be the only person to have enough daily contact with him to deceive herself into thinking they were having a relationship).

The discovery of the couple's children shocked the team; although Jane later pointed out he knew immediately on entering the house that there were kids living there as they had plug socket covers on all the floor level plugs. What shocked the team even more though was Lisbon's reaction to seeing the kids. Her battleaxe demeanour was completely gone in an instant and if they didn't know better, they would have said she was a mother herself because she was so natural with them.

Lisbon was quickly able to calm the children down. Jane was surprised and a tad jealous - he was always the one that was able to charm everyone, young and old, out of their fears. Still, he soon overcame this by taking over care of the elder child, a boy called Calvin who was immensely proud of the fact he was three _**and a half**_from Lisbon whilst she focused on the younger one who was only three months old, Martha (or Mattie, according to Calvin) who had started to fuss.

Although it was a mild surprise to see Lisbon and Jane working together without bickering, the team were about to get an even bigger shock. The victims' family only consisted of two very elderly parents in residential homes so the team would have to play babysitter to the couple's two children as, given that it was a Saturday, social services would be unable to place the children with foster parents until Monday.

Of course, it went without saying that the kids would be looked after by Lisbon and Jane because they were the two that the children felt most comfortable with and who felt most comfortable with the children (Cho and Rigsby both backed away incredibly quickly at the thought of having to look after children, whilst Van Pelt was white with fear that she might break one of them).

There was only one problem - Lisbon and Jane lived across town and neither of them had suitable accommodation or things for children, given that Jane had thrown away his entire possessions after the murder of his family. Nevertheless, by mid-afternoon, Jane had come up with a plan to overcome this minor problem - he just needed to convince Lisbon, who at that point had Calvin in awe of her as she showed him the 'magic' fingerprint powder, that he was ready to implement it.

He seized his chance when he noticed Mattie was starting to fuss, which he knew meant she was getting hungry. He had just enough time to go to the kitchen, prepare a bottle and return to Lisbon's office before Mattie started to cry. Jane quickly picked her up and started to feed her, which earned a look of surprise from Lisbon as she hadn't realised he was in her office until the crying stopped.

"Jane, if you want to give me a heart attack …"

"Sorry, Teresa but your face was a picture." This earned him a scowl from Lisbon.

"I was about to tend to her so why are you in my office without knocking again, Jane?"

"To talk." His 100 watt smile dimmed a bit to show he was serious.

"About what?"

"These two." Lisbon raised an eyebrow in ignorance at his statement.

Jane continued, "And what we're going to do with them this weekend."

"We?" Lisbon asked

"Well, yes. You're a natural with them, which I must say came as a surprise to me. I always had you down as having more of a Van Pelt reaction to small children."

Lisbon smiled slightly but remained silent as Jane continued. "However, your living quarters are highly inappropriate for having two children to stay. Therefore, I propose that the three of you move in with me for the weekend."

There was not a hint of doubt in his voice, despite the insecurity he was feeling over whether Lisbon would agree to his plan.

Finally she answered, "Yours is hardly any better."

"Easily rectified by a shopping trip."

Despite Lisbon's image as a career-focused woman who had magically managed to lose all her womanly wishes, the words 'shopping trip' set bells ringing in her ears, and before her better judgment could stop her, she found herself agreeing to meet him in the car park at 5 after he had run a few errands so they could shop for some toys and such for the children.

Jane and Lisbon had a great time at the shopping centre with the kids, and Lisbon found herself picturing the event with her and Jane's real children, one with blond hair and green eyes, the other dark hair and blue eyes before she came to her senses.

The trip only lasted an hour or so which meant that they were able to get the kids home in time for bedtime. Calvin turned out to be incredibly well-behaved and was out like a light as soon as his head touched the pillow. Mattie was also quick to settle after her evening feed which meant Lisbon and Jane had a few hours to spend before it was time for them too to turn in. Jane's errands, it turned out, were to buy proper furniture for the house again, which he had sometime charmed the shop into delivering that day. Given his previous success as a phoney physic, his house had more than enough room for the children, Lisbon and Jane to each have their own rooms, a fact Lisbon was extremely glad of as she knew she talked in her sleep and didn't want Jane analysing or even hearing her midnight mumbles.

Still, this left the problem of those hours before she could reasonably excuse herself to go to her room to sleep. Even sitting next to him on the settee made her blush like a teenage girl, which she knew he had picked up on.

Jane jokingly interrupted the silence, "I'd almost forgotten what my house sounded like in silence, even though it was only this morning."

The glass of wine Lisbon had drunk made her a little braver, "did you and Livy ever consider having any more children after Daisy?" Seeing the look on his face, she quickly realised how forward she had been so started to apologise, but Jane stopped her.

"It's okay. I'd never really though about it until just now, that's all. At first, we thought that Daisy was all we needed to complete our family, but then I remembered how lonely it was being an only child. I tried to convince Livy but she refused to contemplate it. It drove a wedge between us. You know, I think she was going to leave me when she was killed and I wouldn't have blamed her. All I talked about was having another child, giving Daisy a playmate. I even managed to get Daisy to want the same. I think … I think by the end she nigh on hated me - I had turned our daughter against her." A tear rolled down his cheek and Lisbon realised he had finally taken down his mask and opened up to her.

"Patrick, no marriage is perfect but listen to yourself, Livy loved you. Daisy loved you. (Patrick could have sworn Lisbon said 'I' after this but passed it off as a hallucination) They didn't hate you so stop beating yourself up about it."

She unconsciously put her arm around him and didn't notice til he mirrored her, making her blush even more.

**I can't promise to update before the 12****th**** cos that's when my last exam is, but I will try to respond to reviews. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I know it's not the 12****th**** yet, but I don't think I can do any more constructive revision today if I tried. **

Lisbon had never really been good with dealing with her or other people's emotions and so had no idea how to get herself out of this situation. She knew how well Jane could read her and she really didn't want him to know that she liked him 'that' way.

Fortunately, at that moment Mattie started to cry and Lisbon shot out of the room like a bolt of lightning to tend to her. Jane stayed on the sofa trying to analyse what had just happened when he heard a lullaby coming from the room he'd made into the nursery. He recognised the tune immediately - it was the song that his wife used to sing to their daughter when she woke up in the night. Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself walking towards the singing and joining in when he got to the door, earning him a very surprised look from Lisbon.

By this time, Mattie had gone back to sleep and Lisbon had put her back into the cot. Jane came over to her, and to her surprise started to dance as he continued singing (Lisbon had become speechless as soon as he started singing). Before she knew it, they were dancing into his bedroom when he stopped singing.

"Why did you stop?"

"I ran out of lyrics," Jane responded with his usual cocky grin

"No you didn't, there's two more verses."

"Yes I did. How did you know that song anyway?"

"Stop changing the subject."

"You didn't answer the question." But then Jane noticed Lisbon was starting to well up.

"Hey, come here," he said, enveloping her in a hug, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's okay. It was the song my mum used to sing to me when I woke up in the night."

"It's a very good song, sung by a very good singer."

"Don't push it Jane."

"What? Has nobody told you how good a singer you are before?"

Lisbon just shook her head.

"Well that must change my dear; from now on I shall tell you whenever you do something amazing."

"There's really no need."

"But there is because you deserve it."

Just then, Lisbon realised she'd made a mistake. She was on Jane's bed with her mask down and it was late. He turned to her and realised too. In that moment he knew exactly how she felt about him and being Jane he wasn't one to wait to act. Therefore, he captured her lips in the sweetest kiss she'd had in a long time, full of love but at the same time cautious just in case he was wrong. Lisbon responded by deepening the kiss, showing him that as always he was right.

However, Jane knew Teresa wasn't the type to rush into a relationship and didn't want to force her so before things became too heated, he pulled away.

"I think that's enough for one night." He said half jokingly before he picked her up, carried her to her room and sang the same song they'd sung earlier to her until she too fell asleep.

**I know this a little AU, but hey it's my fanfic. Please review and feel free to suggest any ideas if you want.**


	3. Chapter 3

**As a treat to myself for doing a ton of revision today, I've written a new chapter. Hope you like it (feel free to say if you don't)**

There wasn't much time to think of what had happened that night as the kids distracted them, day and night. Before anyone knew it, it was the last day Lisbon and Jane had with Mattie and Calvin before Social Services came to collect them. Therefore, Jane had decided to give them the best day of their lives so far (goodness knew they deserved it, after all they'd just lost both their parents, even if they were too young to understand that properly yet).

First of all, he cooked pancakes for breakfast and it was impossible to tell who was more ecstatic to see they came with chocolate sauce, Calvin or Lisbon - Jane had known she was a secret chocoholic, of course. Even more of a treat was that they got to eat them in bed - to be precise Jane's bed, of which Lisbon had been embarrassed at to say the least because she knew her vest top and pyjama hot pants combo was hardly the best attire to be wearing after last night's incident. Jane didn't seem to notice as he was more focused on playing happy families with Calvin as Mattie was still sleeping soundly after she'd woken Lisbon up at 2 wanting to be fed. Before they knew it the pancakes had all gone - who knew Jane was such an amazing cook - and Jane was now being tickled by Calvin. Both were in hysterics. Lisbon had been trying to stay calm and professional but soon found herself joining in, which left her in a very dangerous position with Jane when Calvin went back to his room to find a picture he'd drawn the previous day that he wanted to show them.

Fortunately, before Jane could do anything, Mattie woke up and like the first evening, Lisbon was out of the room like a shot to tend to her. As usual, it only took a moment for Lisbon to quieten her as Lisbon seemed to have a telepathic sense of what was wrong with Mattie before she even picked her up. When Jane entered the nursery a minute later, Lisbon was finishing changing her nappy and moving on to deciding on an outfit for the baby, as Jane had seemed to buy the entirety of Mothercare on Friday.

"Jane, why on earth do you think she needs this many clothes for a weekend? At the most she'd need two outfits a day!"

"But they're all so cute. And soon as you can't decide on what to dress her in, may I suggest the pink t-shirt with the writing on and the denim skirt."

"Fine - but what are you going to do with all these clothes after Social Services take them away?"

"Save them for your future children," he replied with his usual 100 watt smile, but on seeing Lisbon's reaction added more sombrely, "Give them to the charity shop down the road."

"What are we doing today anyway?" Lisbon said, desperate to change the subject.

"You'll see when we get there," to which Lisbon gave her trademark look of annoyance.

An hour later and both children had been fed, washed and dressed and were just about ready to go. However, Lisbon was fretting over what to wear as given she didn't know where she was going, she didn't know what to wear. Jane had figured out what was holding her up and shouted up the stairs, "a t-shirt and jeans will suffice my dear for today's activities!"

"Thank you Jane," she replied in a huff.

However, when she came down the stairs 5 minutes later, sure enough she was in her jeans and t-shirt, albeit very well cut ones that seemed to show off her figure more. Jane very quickly realised exactly why she'd chosen those items and knew it was going to take all his willpower not to do something inappropriate, well come on this is Jane we're talking about.

It turned out that Jane had planned to take them to the local zoo, which also had an indoor adventure playground and an outdoor play park as well as all the usual animals. It was about half an hours drive away and for once Jane let Lisbon drive (after eventually telling her where they were going), if only so he could play games with Calvin without worrying Lisbon that he wasn't focusing on the road.

Soon enough, they arrived at the zoo and Calvin was already in awe at the pictures of the exotic animals dotted around the car park. It was lucky that they'd remembered to bring reins otherwise they were pretty sure he could have caused himself serious injury in his frantic attempt to go up to each of the pictures on the way to the ticket office. Jane was all to happy to follow after him and make the accompanying noises and tell him what the card said, although when he saw how hyped up Calvin was already getting, he decided that even relying on the reins might be too risky so put him on his shoulders, which made Calvin squeal with delight at his new view of the world. Lisbon decided it would be better to go to the play areas before lunch so they didn't have to worry about whether they got animal germs in their food. As it was still early, they decided to go to the outdoor play area first, before it got too hot or they risked getting sunburnt. The equipment was big enough for adults to go on with their children so Lisbon took Mattie and Jane took Calvin around the apparatus.

Luckily for Patrick, Calvin didn't need that much help on the equipment - he seemed like a pro, which meant that Jane was able to take lots of photos of Lisbon being truly happy with Mattie coming down the slide. Teresa didn't seem to have a care in the world as she gently bounced up and down on the seesaw with Mattie as Jane sat on the other end with Calvin in front of him, giggling from all the excitement. Soon it was time for lunch, and with Jane having planned this day meticulously, he already knew the best place for dinner was the little café up at the far end of the park, away from the bigger, newer restaurant which was bound to be crammed with people. Sure enough the little café was busy but not packed so there was enough room to have Mattie's pushchair at the table without causing a nuisance. As his treat, Jane had treated Lisbon and Calvin to the biggest ice cream sundaes they sold and made sure to take as many photos as possible of this event, especially as he had never seen Lisbon eat junk food before.

In the afternoon, they went to see the animals, although Mattie apparently soon grew very bored of this as within 10 minutes, she was sound asleep in her pushchair. With Lisbon no longer having to entertain Mattie, she too joined in with making animal noises for Calvin and telling him random animal facts with Jane. She couldn't remember when she last felt this free and content. It must have shown because whilst they were looking at the Meer cats (and doing a hilarious impression of them), a woman approached Lisbon.

"How do you do it?" she asked Lisbon.

Lisbon was taken aback, "do what?"

"Get him [pointing to Jane] to love you and your kids so much. The amount of relationships I've had that have broken down because he's too immature to look after someone else's kid…"

Lisbon had never thought about it before, but she supposed Calvin and Mattie did look more like her than Jane, as they both had dark hair and neither of them had blue eyes (Calvin's were hazel whilst Mattie's were brown). Still, Lisbon did wonder at how the woman had realised that Jane wasn't their father, even if they didn't look like him so she decided to ask her.

"What makes you think that he's not their father?" Lisbon said, reverting back to using her interrogation skills - giving nothing away.

"Well, erm, it's just that … erm … earlier I overheard your son refer to him as Patrick so I presumed…"

Realising that this had probably happened just before the woman had approached her, she realised the woman was not some crazed stalker.

"It's okay, it's just I get a little paranoid, you know, with all these scare stories in the news … never know who to trust." Lisbon responded, letting her guard down a little to comfort this woman.

"Yeah … that's why I'm here actually. My ex… my kids' father is supposed to be here." Lisbon sensed that there was something more to this than the woman was letting on.

"Ma'am is he here now?" the woman shook her head, "okay, my name is Teresa Lisbon, I work for the CBI." As she said this she moved her jacket so the woman could see her badge.

"We can help you if you want."

"But he said no police."

"It's ok - he won't know we're involved, I promise. Can you tell me your name please?"

"Mandy, Mandy Brown."

"Ok Mandy, here's what's going to happen: I going to phone my colleagues who will do their very best to track your ex but I need his contact number and name."

After much fumbling about in her bag, Mandy brought out a scrap of paper with a phone number written on it. "His name is Chris, Chris Adams."

"Just Chris or Christopher?"

"Christopher."

Lisbon knew that Jane had overheard the entire conversation but that also meant she knew that he knew she would want him to do the call to Cho so it was no surprise when she turned around to see him already on the phone. Seeing Mandy's shocked expression, however, she decided it would be best to calm her down.

"Don't worry, he works with me."

Just as Jane hung up the phone, his face dropped as he whispered to Lisbon, "we got company."

Sure enough, a man fitting Chris' description (which Jane had been given over the phone, along with his criminal record) was towards them, although he was still far enough off that he wouldn't be able to see that Mandy was talking to Jane and Lisbon. Lisbon had just enough time to tell Mandy their plan before Jane pulled her away so it didn't look suspicious when Chris got closer.

In fact, Chris never realised the police were involved until he felt his arms being yanked behind his back and being handcuffed as his kids were reunited with their mum.

"Thank you" was all Mandy could say over and over again as Chris was led away.

"Hey, it's all in a day's work." Jane replied with a grin.

At the same time, however, Calvin reached up to Jane for a hug, which they knew meant he was worn out from the day's activities.

"Come on sleepy, let's get you home," said Jane as they started to walk back to the car park.

By the time they got home, Calvin was out like a light and Mattie shortly followed after being fed and changed. As a result, like the first night, Jane and Lisbon had time to burn before it was time for them to go to bed but all that happened was an awkward silence.

"Jane." "Teresa." They said at the same time.

"You first," said Jane.

"About the other night…" Lisbon didn't know how to go on but the blush in her cheeks told Patrick everything he needed to know.

"You liked it but know that it can't happen again?" Jane tried to word her thoughts for her, and as usual was spot on.

Lisbon nodded her head in sadness.

"You're not my boss so we wouldn't be breaking any regulations," Jane continued, "and I hardly think you're the type of person to let relationships interfere in their work anyway. Plus, Minnelli hasn't said anything about Van Pelt and Rigsby, and they - if I remember correctly- snogged [at which Lisbon scoffed] in the office. Come on Teresa, we can make this work if you want it to. And before you say we're not compatible, look at all we've done this weekend, surely that's enough evidence for you?"

Lisbon realised he'd blown every excuse for her not to be in a relationship with him out of the water so she did the only thing she could think of that was appropriate and kissed him.

"Bet you weren't expecting that Patrick!"

He hadn't been expecting such a physical response from her, no, but he wasn't going to let her know that.

"Even in love my dear you are as clear as water."

Lisbon tried her hardest to be angry at that comment but the smile he gave her just made her want to kiss him even more, and so they did (and a little bit more, since Lisbon figured that she'd known him for long that he wouldn't go and break her heart).


End file.
